Jesus knows & will bring you through.

Hello my Sweet Friend.

I love you SOOOoooo much. I wish I could give you an in-person hug right now. I wish I could take away all your hurts, but I know that would change who you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you!

What I’m about to say will require a lot of trust on your part, but I ask that you read on and seek the truth, based on the only absolute truth we have in this world (God’s Word, which is Christ Jesus Himself).

I see such a beautiful child of God, who’s being changed before my eyes in an amazing way, by the Holy Spirit of Jehovah Himself. You are being made, as a caterpillar turns into a beautiful butterfly, into the very image of Jesus Himself.

He knew pain. He knew suffering. He knew emotional anguish.

He knew betrayal. He knew, really knew, loneliness. 

He knew the daily distractions, burdens, and drudgery.

Jesus also knew the answer…

In order to become the man He was meant to be,

he would have to rely solely on His Abba.

In prayer. In trust.

Through the tears. Through the frustration.
Through the loneliness. Through sadness and loss.
Through losing friends as he made tough choices.

For direction… even when it seemed there was none.

For hope… even when it seemed there was none.

For friendship… even when it seemed there was none.

“For consider Him who has endured

such hostility by sinners against Himself,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:3, NASB

Jesus is the only one who can fully knows your frustrations and struggles. I'm committed to walking with you as you wait for answers, believing that together He will bring you through this hard season. Together, my friend. Together.

Father God, my friend needs comfort and encouragement. Meet her where she is and, in your faithfulness, let her know how precious she is in your sight. Replenish hope. Help her network of support be the kind of friends she needs right now. Show us clearly how to pray for and love her. Help us be respectful and kind. Protect her from hurtful words. I ask, too, that you clearly show her if there is anything she can do - or should stop - during this time as she waits on You. In Jesus' name...

I love you so incredibly much, and while I cannot take away your struggles or emotional turmoil, I am with you. I will be with you all our lives long. You are so dear to me, and I’m so glad that we can share our journeys together.

You are a valuable gift, and I am so glad to have you in my life!  

With all my love…

Desert of Shame (Warrior Princess Series)

Defeat’s salty tears sting as they flow over scars from the past. Reminders of failed attempts – my lack – bring me to the Desert of Shame. I didn’t need to go “there,” but I didn’t know where else to go. I’ve failed so often! How could The King possibly want me to be His ambassador?

Joyful When I Feel Lost?

There’s no warm up in Psalm 33. It’s a full-blown “Hallelujah! Let’s get up and praise God!” kind of song.

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the LORD…

“What about when life feels so hard? What if I don't want to? Why should I?”

 

Those days to go back to the foundational training, the questions we've all had to answer in our faith journey. Is God who He says He is? Will He do what He said He'd do? Is His Word true?

 

For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

Let’s switch gears a bit… Imagine for a moment that you are a pilot. Trained by the best, and given all the resources you need to fly successfully. Each time you fly, you have choices. Do what you’ve been trained to do... or wing it. Pardon the pun. Be sure to use that instrument panel; flying by sight alone, especially in bad weather, can get you killed.

Do you see the parallel to life?

We can choose to "fly blind" by emotion or use the instruments God provides for proper perspective. He is the Master Trainer. He made the rules of the universe and knows how to help us navigate life.

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
And by the breath of His mouth all their host.
He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap...

For He spoke, and it was done;
He commanded, and it stood fast.

 

Believing these verses are true, what can we do when we feel lost in a cloudy mess?

1. Breathe. Take a breath. Breathing helps us separate THIS moment from the moment we just left. It gives us a bit of oxygen to think better. Breathing is good.

2. Trust. Get your bearings and trust those instruments. Remember what God’s taught you and choose to trust Him.

The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His heart from generation to generation.

...the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,

the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 

3. Remember grace is on-going.

From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—

he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

 

…I am confident of this very thing,

that He who began a good work in you

will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:6, NASB

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 

Somehow, in all of life's messes, Abba God meets us - FAITHFULLY. We might not FEEL peace or joy today. We don't know when we'll come through the clouds to a blue sky. Yet we have TRUTH printed on pages that we can pick up. We are held in the hands of a mighty God who is much, much bigger and stronger than any storm we face.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

That is why we can, and will...

Sing joyfully to the LORD...
it is fitting for [us] to praise him.
Praise the LORD…

For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

 

Abba God, You are beautiful. The way You work is beautiful. I'm so glad You know what I face and how to get me through today. Remind me when I look at the sky, that You are the One who made all I see... and when I look down, that You direct my paths. Give me the courage to praise You even in the storms. Have your way in me, Abba God. I know I can trust You. Help me live like it.Sustain those who are weary. Bind us the wounds of those who love You. In Jesus' name.

- Scripture portions from Psalm 33

Joy is forever. A Shepherd's Joy series (4)

We all have days when joy seems miles away and unobtainable, especially when we find ourselves in the shadow of insurmountable giants. 

David knew all about giants. In fact, he was still a shepherd boy when he took on Goliath. Seems fitting to include him in "A Shepherd's Joy" series. 

Since he found himself in many more terrifying situations than most of us will ever face, I'm thinking we should pay attention when he writes about joy. 

Here's what he declared his source of joy to be in the midst of great turmoil:

O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me;
Let them bring me to Your holy hill
And to Your dwelling places.
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy;

And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

- Psalm 43:3-5, click here to open NASB & MSG Paraphrase

Joy isn't man-made. 

It's found in our God. Since HE is able to do more than we can imagine or ask, there is always hope for JOY even in the most discouraging of days, because GOD IS WITH US!

Abba God, thank You for giving hope for JOY in every day, and  for David's story. Remind me when I feel anything other than joy that YOU are my exceeding joy; that drawing near to YOU is the answer in all circumstances. Give me courage to cry out something like David did:

Show me the way to You, Abba,

for You are my exceeding joy and

I will praise You!

Come on, girl! Why are you so down?

Hope in God, for He will make me smile again. He is my God!

In Jesus' name...

 

Faith in the name of Jesus.

In Acts 3, a lame man begs Peter and John for alms, but they don't have money to give. Instead, Peter gives the man the biggest surprise of his life!

What did Peter attribute the healing to? 

"And on the basis of faith in His name,

it is the name of Jesus

which has strengthened this man whom you see and know;

and the faith which comes through Him ..."

"...by the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene... by this name

this man stands here before you in good health. - Acts 3:16 and 4:10, NASB

Healing wasn't the only thing that came to the lame man. More importantly, he was given faith. And it wasn't by any good works, that any man could boast. It was a gift from God.

We all ask God for "alms" of some sort in our lives - some kind of change - and our Good Father gives us more than we can imagine or hope for.

God swoops in and surprises us with faith on the most ordinary of days. While it's not usually a dramatic "event," we are all witnesses to Him giving us more faith over time, which is quite a huge deal if you ask me.

Life where death and sin used to hold us captive.
A tiny spark of joy during a time of deep sadness.
The calm steadfast peace where anxiety used to rear its debilitating head.
A strong certain hope where fear used to reign.

Jesus is the Author of our faith. He initiated; we only responded.  

Jesus is the Finisher of our faith. He will continue to perfect our faith! Nothing we can do, beyond obedience.

Jesus said He came to give us abundant life. He prunes, He provides the fruit. We keep choosing to abide. His POWERFUL and ABLE Word is true, and He is faithful to finish what He started.  

 

Abba God, You are so good to me!

When I take the time to thoughtfully ponder Jesus....

to consider this gift of faith in Jesus' name...

Faith which comes through Jesus. 

Oh Abba, who am I, that You would do this for me? While I'm grateful for the faith You have given me, I am grieved the times I struggle to believe your powerful Word. I do believe, help me in my unbelief! By the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene - by His name and not because of anything we deserve - strengthen all of us in the Body of Christ. Give us courage to trust You and to believe that You will give us all we need to live by faith instead of by sight. In Jesus' name...

Talking Myself Thru (5) - Grace helps us face HARD

Hopefully you have taken  - or recommitted to - some healthy steps toward a renewed mind:

• Figured out the lies you are typically attacked with
• Found verses to read, pray through, and focus on daily
• Found 1-2 followers of Jesus who will pray with and support you as you learn to take all thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ
• Chosen and/or created some reminders of God’s faithfulness to you

Our brains are intricately designed, and they hold an incredible amounts of detailed information. Training brains takes time and is a process. Please give yourself time. Abba God is faithful and loves you enough to help you fight this battle. You may find some days are easy and others are hard. Take heart because “

…the one who is in you (Jesus) is greater than the one who is in the world (Satan).” - 1 John 4:4

I thought it might be helpful to someone who is struggling to know what awful lies used to be engraved in my mind. Maybe you can identify. Maybe you’ll think I’m loony. Regardless, I do hope this helps someone to know you aren’t alone in the battle AND that God is powerful enough to break those chains!   I used to think: 

• I was too awful for God to unconditionally love. I was absolutely terrified God would run out of love toward me one day.
• I wasn’t enough – not good enough, not lovable enough. Sure, maybe a human wanted to be my friend for a short time, but they didn’t stick around. So, why would God be different?
• I was too stubborn - too rebellious – for God to be able to change me, to help me stop sinning.

Yep. Just a few of the big fat lies I believed for way too long. Over time – and much seeking and wrestling with Abba – He has been revealing how His grace is bigger than all of my lack could ever be. 

He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men. – Titus 3:5–8, NASB

His grace justifies us, made us right with God, and made us heirs with Christ Jesus. It motivates us and provides what we need to do today’s work. 

That kind of grace – God’s grace – leads me to hope!

GRACE is a mighty powerful weapon that rejuvenates hope. His grace causes me to be able to say: 

• Because HE loves me and never leaves me, I have hope that HE will help me through the ‘hard’.
• Because HE gives me all I need to do the work HE planned for me to do – because HE will finish what He started, I have hope that He will help me through all that today holds. 

He has loved me on my worst days. He has proven His faithfulness to me over and over again. He loves me right now. Right here, even when….

Abba God, thank you for your grace, for loving me right where I am today. You embrace all of me. Give me eyes to see how deeply you love me. It’s crazy to me to think that in my most embarrassing season of life – in the depth of sinful actions and harmful words – that YOU LOVED ME EVEN THEN. No human can earn your love; I’m so glad I can’t do anything to make you love me more or to drive you away. Help me accept your grace today, to accept that I am OK, valuable, loved and worth having in your family. Teach me how to battle according to Scripture, to trust YOU to be with me, and to never despair. Thank you for forgiving me, for training me so I can live in freedom, and for your perfect love which casts fear far away. I’m not “there” yet, but I’m glad You are taking me there! Help me lean on your strong arms and to trust that your grace is enough. Your love is enough. Jesus is enough. And I can do today, because YOU ARE HERE. You are present and alive and active. You are with me. Thank you for being faithful!!! In Jesus’' name…

Talking Myself through (4) - Remembering

There are two words in particular that help me in the battle for the brain. One is “but” - when I need to “finish the sentence” (mentioned in a past post). The other word is...  

 

Remember.

Think back to the Old Testament, from Abraham to Joshua.

 

How did they remember God’s work on their behalf? What did they use to share their amazing story with others?   

 

Passover Meal: God instituted the Passover Meal for the Israelites to observe and remember when He rescued them out of Egypt (Exodus 12:14). Still observed by many around the world, it is a reminder of God’s faithfulness and love. What a poignant visual of the ultimate Passover Lamb who saves us from death.  

 

Stones: As I imagine Joshua 4:1-9 unfolding (the sights, smells, sounds), I wonder how awe-struck I might have been if I were a grandchild of someone who had been there. When they took me to the stone memorial and testified to God’s work in their lives, what would it be like to see with my own eyes? I surely would have touched the monument with my own hands. I would have paused to listen to the river and consider what it looked like on the day of their crossing when God cleared the way. What a tangible reminder to share God’s works!  

They weren't the only ones blesses with memorial reminders...  

 

Remember The Cross:

“For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” - Colossians 1:18, NASB

“and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.” – 1 Peter 2:24, NASB

“And when you were dead in trespasses… He made you alive with Him and forgave us all our trespasses. He erased the certificate of debt, with its obligations, that was against us and opposed to us, and has taken it out of the way by nailing it to the cross.” - Colossians 2:13-14, HCSB

Communion:

“The Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes. - 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

As humans, we tend to forget. Reminders are good tools.

In addition to the reminders Abba God has given us, mentioned above, I've chosen to "pick up various types of stones" along the way to remind me of God’s answers to my prayers. Memories, tangible objects I can reach out and touch, and places I visit.

• I can almost feel the Bible pages being tossed against my finders by the playful wind as I sat on a bench on a mountaintop when I realized God really did love me.
• One particularly weedy and unkempt sandy knoll has a very special place in my heart. While I didn't "feel" God's presence, I felt stronger in faith... I knew I was in an absolutely lovely and special place, and God knew me by name. I felt safe, valuable, and free from all my cares.
• Then, there's the rock I picked up on the day when I knew His answer was coming swiftly to release me from an obligation I couldn’t carry out any longer.  
• When I struggle with not understanding, I am encouraged by the faith of others who've gone before... and of the beautiful confessions of faith on white-washed tombstones in Salem, NC. Said in many ways, the heart of their faith was: "We don't know, but we know the One who does."

These memories build up my faith. They remind me of what is true: God is so much bigger than me and my struggles. He was faithful then. He is faithful now and always. 

These are just a few ways to remember. They make it is so much easier for me to command my soul to:

“Be still, and know He is God. He is faithful. He loves you. You are ok. He has you in His hands and will make all things work together for the good. Do you not remember what great things He has done?”

Abba God, thank You for reminders of what YOU have done FOR US. We can’t do anything to make you love us more – or less. How great is your love and kindness! Show me what memorials I can build into my daily life to remind me to renew my thinking. Thank you for hope, for teaching me that I CAN be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Help us to remember. Help us to choose to daily train the brain, using the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. In Jesus’ name...

Talking myself through (3) - Strength Training our Brains

train the brain?

Yes, it's hard and it's work. Not my favorite adjectives, I confess. However, this is very important for your survival. It's as important as water and air!

We are at war. We have enemies who are ruthless, who want to keep us down, standing over us with their stinky feet on our necks. The world - blindfolded to truth and hostage to sin and death - taunts us daily. "Come join us! Seek pleasure while you can!" The evil one roars about seeking whom he can devour, trying to confuse and confine us.

BUT GOD SAYS: "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove (or approve) what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2, NASB

So how can we be transformed by the renewing of our minds?

We can start by asking some questions.

1. What am I thinking? What am I saying? Does it line up with God’s Word? Is it true?
2. How am I reacting to these thoughts?

• Am I trying to ignore or suppress them, as I’ve tried repeatedly?
• Am I choosing to address them, training my brain to walk in line with Jesus?

3. What does God say? Don't assume or guess! Find Scripture that – in proper context – applies directly to those thoughts. Ask God to direct you. He is faithful!

• Abba God, please show me truth. Show me which verses to learn and speak when I am attacked. Please fight this battle for me because I know I cannot do this in my own strength. I need your help. 

4. Find 1-2 trustworthy, safe, sisters in Christ Jesus who will pray with you. Choose wisely, asking God to show you the right people to confide in. Pray via phone, email, text messaging, letters – whatever it takes! We need to support each other in this battle. If you cannot honestly find anyone to pray with you, contact me and I will pray with you through email. You are not alone!

Abba God, help us learn to believe truth and spot the lies immediately when they come. Help us stand firm in Christ Jesus, knowing we are no longer condemned or covered in shame. Give us courage to believe YOU have covered us in the righteousness of Jesus - who is beauty, light, and truth. Open our eyes to see truth - both what YOU say, and what thoughts we have been allowing to flood our minds. Show us what garbage we must toss out and help us cling to Jesus alone. Thank You for being faithful and promising to finish what you began in us. I'm looking forward to learning more of what your will is - your good and acceptable and perfect will. In Jesus' name...

Talking myself through (2) - It's ok. You are ok - right where you are.

I like easy. Mornings are NOT easy (at least, not for me).

Sure, I know:

• God made the mornings.
• His mercies are new every morning.
• We are called to rejoice in the mornings, because God made them.
• Some even find morning to be “wonderful” times with The Lord.

I’m just not there yet. I might never be. I don’t know. Anything’s possible I suppose. Some even say “mornings can be my friend.” Pardon my skepticism.

 

I've tried several tips and techniques to try to befriend mornings, but each effort has led to more frustration. [Please don’t send me a million emails telling me how to love them.] Thankfully, after much searching, I have found something very good to come from my wrestling match with mornings. This conclusion: it’s OK for me to struggle with the morning. Why would I even think I had to attain to loving mornings, as if it were a measure of perfection? (sigh) I make things way harder than they need to be.

• It’s OK that mornings feel hard to me. What feels hard to you?
• It’s OK that I feel yucky when I wake up. What frustrates or overwhelms you?
• It’s OK that I have to talk myself into facing the morning. What “hard” are you facing today?

What I struggle with ≠ who I am.

None of this affects my standing before God. The Provision – Jesus – has paved the way for me to stand united with God. Jesus alone – not what I struggle with – determines who I am.  Jesus is my Perfection, and the more I lean on Him, the more I will learn to trust Him and be less tossed by my struggles. This is a process, a lifetime journey to learn. Not a destination to be reached by shortcuts.

How I feel ≠ who I am.

Jesus alone – not how I feel – determines who I am. It’s important that I differentiate how I feel from who I am. Sad, mad, glad - doesn’t affect who I am.

Jesus is my Salvation.

The Way to joy,

The Truth which sets me free,

The Life I crave.

 

HE is greater than how I feel.  My emotions – by themselves – are not sin. How I feel may lead to sin, if I play with temptation instead of running from it. 

 

My emotions do not define me – proving or disproving who I am. I’m ok right where I am. And so are you.
 

You are ok – right where you are!

Abba God, “Help me in my unbelief!” Help me choose – daily – to believe that emotions are not my identity or destination. They are a tool in your gracious hands, used to draw me closer to you. Give me courage to trust YOU to help me take steps of faith when I feel so weak. Help me to remember these truths: 

...there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1, NASB

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28, NASB

Thank you for shining light and truth into my life. Give me feet quick to run from temptation, courage to turn my back on the lies I’ve believed (whether in my head or from others’ mouths), and eyes to see the way of escape which you have promised to provide. I’m so glad I can trust you to help me face each hardship. In Jesus’ name…

Talking myself through (1) - God uses struggles to grow faith

Most days, I honestly feel like all I have to show for my struggles is this resolution – of which I become more convinced of the older I get:

God uses struggles to grow faith.

He is creative - and able - to turn what was meant for evil into good. Our hardships are not ever wasted or ignored by our Abba. He not only weaves those hardships into good eternally, but also internally. He teaches us remarkable peace, unquenchable joy, and tender love. How mighty and kind is our God!

God tells us attacks will come, that there are evil forces we cannot see who hate Him (and therefore us), that there are thoughts not in line with Christ Jesus which need to be taken captive, and that we must renew our mind by focusing on what is true.

We all struggle with thoughts of doubt, fear, condemnation, shame… You are not alone in your struggle! God tells us there is nothing new under the sun, that Jesus went through every temptation, and that He completely understands our struggles. He shows us, through David's example in the Psalms, that we can develop the ability to command our souls to put trust in God. We can learn to dwell on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy of praise.

To struggle with thoughts is human. Yet there is something

absolutely amazing

about being transformed

from broken "caterpillars" into vibrant, healthy butterflies

who can soar in faith.

 

Soaring in faith can happen. YES! It's true! Hope is calling you to choose to believe. It is not easy, but God is faithful and HE makes it possible for our faith to grow. We who are saved, are not only saved for eternity. We are also saved from this present age of darkness. We are free to live as living “lamps” for Jesus to shine through.

God Himself says in Romans 5:1-5: "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (emphasis mine)

 

Do you see all of the present-tense wording? For followers of Jesus Christ, these things are DONE. We have peace with God. We have obtained grace which we stand in. We learn to exult as we mature in our understanding of what has been done for us. [There are countless testimonials of believers who grew to welcome persecutions because Abba taught them what an exceedingly great joy was available to them through those tribulations. So we ought not be discouraged when we don’t grasp this yet. We know that God’s Word is true.]

 

Sisters, let us not be afraid to hope. Let’s believe – at this moment – that Abba God uses our struggles, because He loves us and He finishes what He starts.

 

Oh, Abba! Please release us all from the crippling fear that keeps us from trusting you. Give us courage to believe that you really do know what is best for us and that you intend to bring it to pass. That best might not look like what I expect it to look like, but I want to believe your love is perfect and always tender. Teach us what perfect love even means. So many of us have been hurt deeply by others and don't know what goodness is. Teach us, Father. We are listening. Protect us from those who beat, torment and taunt us. Give us sound minds, full of courage and faith. And help us cling to Jesus while we wait for your faithful answer. In Jesus' name...    

It is done, though not through my efforts.

Exertion. Labor. Toil. Great effort. The cunning and deceptive Perfection Beast ravaged my soul, threatening to destroy Hope. Dropping to my knees, I cried out to the only One who could save me. I found myself shaking internally with fear. Was the day lost? Suddenly, a blinding light appeared. I opened my eyes to see Despair gone; Hope standing strong. With one spoken Word, my Prince and Savior had sent the beast screaming into the darkness from which he came. HALLELUJAH!!!

These are my mornings. These are my days. Lies torment me, but Truth prevails! From death and sin, Emmanuel saved me once and for all. From lies, trials and tribulations, Jehovah saves me daily. Emotions don’t always cooperate; some days the wait is harder. Maybe my heart’s just stubborn in believing? I don’t know, but I know the One who does know. He is enough.

How precious to know The Lord has said “it is finished”! Today is NOT about what I need to do, or what I am able to accomplish. My work is to abide in Christ Jesus, to rest from my works and trust in His ability to finish the work He’s begun. So, I abide, He produces the fruit. I’m weak, but He is strong. He gives me the strength and ability to do what He planned for me to do. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." - John 14:1

Abba God, thank You for coming to my aid daily. You are my rock and fortress. You saved me, You love me daily, You watch over me, You made me right and clean in your sight. When I revert to frantically scurrying around in circles, looking for ways to run in circles faster, convict me to “finish the sentence” with truth - following up lies with truth. Your Word is the sword of the Spirit, able to penetrate between bone and marrow. Thank You for promising to finish the work You started! Thank You for making it very clear that my job is abiding in Christ Jesus, trusting that HE WILL do the work in me. In Jesus' name... 

Sigh...

I hunch forward in desperation when I think of my lack, but then I remember that Jesus is my adequacy. 

I tire of the fight, but I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

I fear that hope might disappoint, but I remember Jesus' powerful act on the cross which showed his resolve to trust God with everything. 

I struggle to lay down fears and worries, as if I can control anything by them, but I remember God's commands. Do not fear... Do not worry... 

All day long, I have these logical talks with myself... then a mountain of frustration grows as I realize I don't know where I am, what I'm doing, or why I'm here. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning - or do I? 

Abba God, my head agrees with You, but my heart is so filled with turmoil. I want to believe You, to fully trust You, and to be content with You. Oh, Lord, increase my faith and cause me to love you above all else! I want so much for You to be my everything. Cause me to stand firm in You alone & to not “mind” the other stuff of life. I want nothing to matter besides You. In Jesus' name... 

Anxiety's enemy? God's consolations which delight my soul!

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul. – Ps 94:19, NASB

But the Lord has been my stronghold,

And my God the rock of my refuge.

He has brought back their wickedness upon them

And will destroy them in their evil;

The Lord our God will destroy them. – Ps 94:22-23, NASB

Abba God, there are times when my soul is so distraught that I do not know how to pray or what to do. Sometimes I feel so alone and wonder where You are. 

In Psalm 94, You remind me of sweet truths: 

You have been my faithful stronghold.

You are the rock of my refuge.

You defend me from - and destroy - those enemies I cannot fight in my own strength.

You have been faithful to me and sustained me - through all of my choices, my fears, my doubts, struggles, etc. You have saved me from sin and death. You promised to never leave me, and yet there are times when I feel so lonely. What then, Father?  Oh, Father! Increase my faith and strengthen my resolve to trust You when I  feel abandoned or unable to cling to truth. I cannot fight alone, but I want so much to glorify You and delight You! 

I praise You, even in the hard times. I don’t understand, but I make the choice to put my hope in You. One day all will bow their knee before You, and I have full assurance that my enemies (seen or unseen) will not prevail; in the end You will vindicate your own. Help me as I wait for what I cannot see. Remind me of your deep love and constant companionship. Give me strength to persevere today. Open my eyes to see how You are helping me in my weakness. Have mercy and compassion on me in my unbelief, remembering I'm merely human - walking clay that only breathes because You have put life into my frame. I submit to You once again, and choose to put my trust in the One who died for me. Help me understand what sufficient grace means, and to take delight in your consolations when anxiety threatens to choke all hope. In the name of my Mighty Warrior Prince Jesus I pray…

Deliberate Choices... Deliberate Ruts...

I wish I could say that I wake up each morning, brimming over with affection for my Prince Jesus, and anticipation for what glimpses of Abba I might catch during the day. I don't. 

Daily I talk myself through a barrage of logic, based on Scripture, so that I am able to make the deliberate choice to die to the old fleshly girl who wants it her way, right away. I must choose - repeatedly throughout many days - to lay down old hurts which still haunt my mind and pierce my soul. I must choose to rip off those worries and concerns which crept back into my heart and mind when I wasn't looking. 

Two truths are in my arsenal to fight the Daily Battle of Choice to seek God (when I'd rather stay  in bed all day - or worse - treat others as badly as I feel inside). 

1. God did so much for me - none of which I deserve. 

I'm so embarrassed to say (I guess because of that "I have it all together" poker face we think we all have to carry.) that I often have to logically walk through Scriptures to convince myself of this truth. It's not a quick process and it is painful to lay aside the lies and doubts. Some days I'm not so successful, but after 20+ years of fighting this battle, the Stubborn Doubt Mode days are starting to lose out to the Truth Really is Reality days. 

2. Abba God has so much more to show me, which I cannot comprehend. 

I have to convince myself to leave the Valley of No Hope and step into the Realm of What I Cannot Yet See (aka I'm Going Home & It's Not HERE!). God didn't ONLY raise me from death into life so that I could live in a boring "heaven" - whatever your view is of heaven, it's not good enough. =). God's ways and thoughts are vastly beyond what we can imagine and His ability beyond what we can hope for. Therefore, I cannot help but think that we just don't grasp how amazing our heaven-citizenship is/will be. 

6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6-7

He's raised me up so that He can show what??? Incomparable. Riches of His grace.

Just when will He be showing us? In the coming ages. 

Most of us find it refreshing when someone holds open the door for us when our arms are overloaded. Yet, how much greater are God's acts of kindness to us! He will continue to show His grace to us for all of eternity. He deeply desires me (even when I wake up not really feeling "in love" with Him). He wants me. He wants to love on me for... ever and ever after. 

He's an active God. He actively creates, and recreates. He brings grace and beauty to ashes. He gives life to bones. He saves from death. He went through great lengths to seek ME - AND YOU - out in the crowd. (Squeal with delight, girl. He loves and chose YOU!!!) He spent much patience and blood to draw me tenderly toward Him. His eyes are continually loving toward me. His mighty arm is ready to catch me, to support me, and to uphold me at all times. (He's so big and strong that He doesn't need to use two. ha!)

Abba God, Thank You so much for loving me in spite of the ugliness that daily rears its beastly head inside of me. Thank You for giving me choices, even I choose poorly. I can't imagine life without your words which speak truth into my innermost being. Give me courage to fight each morning against discouragement and doubt. Give me the determination to persevere so that I can stand firm even when I feel weak. I do believe, help me in my unbelief. May YOU be glorified in my weakness and be seen by others in my life. In Jesus' name. 

Remind me of David's Desperate Pleas, Please

Have you ever noticed the order of the 43^rd psalm? I think it's a wonderful model of prayer when we are struggling. 

Before you read the psalm, picture a desperate man. Covered in the armor of a King, he also wears the dirt, sweat, and blood left from his recent battle. He expected admiration and gratefulness after defeating the marauders, but has instead found his life at risk among once-trusted friends and advisors. Though he's royalty, he is on his knees before the throne of His Maker. You've heard the phrase, "Prepare to meet your maker." He's thinking this might be it. Humiliated and burdened, he pleads to the only ONE who can do anything about the horrifying events that have just unfolded in his world. 

Save me!!! This is serious! Where are You? Can You hear me? This is too much!!

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my case against an ungodly nation;
O deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!
For You are the God of my strength; why have You rejected me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

I know You are and have the answer, Lord! Please show me!

O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me;
Let them bring me to Your holy hill
And to Your dwelling places.
Then I will go to the altar of God,
To God my exceeding joy;
And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.

Come on, soul! Put your trust fully in God, your faithful helper!

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

Mighty Abba, I feel so overwhelmed (sometimes / right now / constantly it seems).I know you see my plight, and all the details involved. Still, sometimes it feels like You aren’t there, or don’t care, or that maybe I’ve done something to stress our relationship. I know, mentally, that Jesus is the answer to everything, that He completes me, and can take care of my every need. Still, I find it so hard to believe truth when emotions rage and circumstances seem Goliath-sized. Remind me to stand on truth. Give me courage to stand (or kneel) when I don’t have a clue what else to do. Remind me daily that I can choose to hope in You, to burrow deeply into Christ Jesus, to trust You for help. To myself, I say, “Get in gear, girl! Hope in the only One who is forever faithful, who has been with You through good and bad times. He is trustworthy! Hope again in HIM!” And, even though I'm still struggling, I am grateful Father, that You love me so well and give me hope time and time again. My struggles are meant for good, are beneficial for training, and will NOT last forever. Give me eyes to see glimpses of heaven, my homeland. In Jesus’ name…  

I find hope... in ordinary lives

I find hope when I consider

all the ordinary lives woven by grace into God’s Story.

• A carpenter named Joseph, and Mary, a common young girl (probably only 12).
• John Mark. Barnabas. Philemon & Onesimus.
• Many of the disciples were common fishermen. They weren’t stellar in Hebraic religious schools, so it they were sent home to learn their father’s occupation. Rabbis didn’t see anything special in them. They didn’t make the cut. They missed their one chance…Then Jesus spoke into their lives and everything changed.
• Abraham was just another man from a big city. 
• The widow who didn’t have another penny to spare, but gave it to her El Shaddai anyway.

Common people, living common lives, make perfect conduits for Jehovah's strong, merciful arm. 

Truly, it was common people scattered throughout the world who changed culture simply by following Jesus’ commands to love God and people. They prayed, listened to Scripture, and learned to live lives that were above reproach, honoring others above themselves. They had phobias, struggles, insecurities, relational problems, felt alone, and wondered when Jesus would return.

God chose them and they responded to His call. Same's true for you and me.

So, what makes me think I’m so special, so unique, so beyond His ability? I don’t give Jehovah enough credit. I don’t use my imagination to try to grasp His capabilities. He’s beyond everything I could think or imagine. Didn’t He create this world for me because He wants relationship with me? Won’t He create the next one to spend eternity with me, because He longs to be face-to-face with me? Didn’t He promise to finish what He began? Why do I think that His work in me would be any different than all those written about in Scripture?

God is the one who makes Extraordinary happen. He chooses people much like the ones you see every day. Even the woman in the mirror. Even me. 

Abba God, I stand amazed. Truly, there is no one other than You. Your arm reaches further, your love is deeper, and your ability is so much more than I imagine or give You credit for. Thank You for patiently teaching me and for continuing the work You started in me. Train me to focus on You and to fully grasp how extraordinary You are. May others see Jesus through me as I go about my common day. Let me remember that You are way beyond ordinary - You are my hope! In Jesus’ name…  

past few weeks

Felt I should share a bit of what’s been happening spiritually in my life. I haven’t been blogging for a few weeks, mainly because of another spiritual desert during which I needed to listen more than share.

My steady spiral downward emotionally had been kick-started by a loss which was heaped on top of other frustrating, out-of-my-control disappointments. While trying to be brave and strong, my strength was waning. Disappointment, fears, and loneliness threatened to choke out all hope of change, and the desire to upkeep any relationships.

Out of weariness and emptiness, hungry for truth and unable to drum up my own spiritual energy or focus, I had no choice but to wait on Abba God to do whatever He willed.

I cried out to Abba countless times, and received silence for much longer than I was comfortable. Being in such a dark place dredges up deep questions.

I must have done something wrong to be “here”.

I’m not where I thought I’d be by now (circumstantially & spiritually).

Maybe “this” is my fault. Look at how so-and-so is being used by God…

Maybe “they” were right about me... (repeat cycle)

I had no idea I was even entertaining these thoughts. They weren’t words swirling around in my head (for once); just emotions deeply buried internally. It takes a Determined Surgeon who specializes in my heart condition to remove the infection and bring healing.

I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that the answer hasn’t changed from the last spiritual desert.

Déjà vu with a slight twist. Many of our life lessons bring us back to the basics, don’t they?

Different circumstances, similar heart issues.

I was so incredibly disappointed in various aspects of life… I wasn’t trusting Abba or focusing on Him.

Today, right now

I choose to put God on my heart throne. (instead of myself & what I want)

I choose to abide in Christ, “consenting to let Him do all for us, and in us, and through us." (Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ)

Flesh does not die quietly, but I have a mighty Prince who fights for me.

Dearest Abba God, May your will be done, not mine. If you want to use me – or not – that’s all up to You. Give me tunnel vision focus on You, instead of circumstances. Convict me to serve You over all else. Give me courage to abide instead of trying to force things to happen as I think they ought. In Jesus’ name… 

Anger or peace?

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Thanks be to God!

I feel alone. BUT He is with me.

I feel conquered, BUT He is for me and makes me victorious.

I feel weak, unable to endure, BUT He strengthens me to do the very thing I thought I couldn’t do.

I feel angry because of hurts or disappointments. BUT He has shown ME grace for my transgressions against Him. He is holy, when I was sinful. He regarded me in my lowly state. 

The blood of Christ Jesus gives me the right to be God's child AND the right to citizenship in His great kingdom. I will not walk in disappointment or anger, for God is love and He lives me in. I choose to put to death fleshly desires to proclaim my rights. For I must boast only of Christ Jesus. My life is in Him alone. HE is my everything. All else must die. 

Abba, thank you for saving me, for paving a way for me to live rightly before you. Thank you for promises of peace, scattered throughout your holy word. Give me courage to stand firm in your ways and to forsake all that's not of you. No matter what. For your glory. Always. Every day. In Jesus' name... 

Abide, Deny, Trust - part 1 - Abiding in the struggle, Before storms

Even if the struggle never is resolved, I must continue to learn what it means to:

1.    Abide in Jesus

2.    Carry my cross, denying myself, following Jesus (DENY SELF)

3.    Trust that Abba knows best, cares the most, and is continually working toward the end goal of bringing me into the full image of my Savior, Christ Jesus. (CLING, STAND FIRM)

 

Abide: What does this even mean? “To stay, to wait, to continue to exist…” (from Greek word used in John 15) How is this possible in turmoil? Here are some keys I’ve been reminded of recently. If nothing else, I’ll have them for myself next time I’m hit with a big crisis.

PREPARE before the storm, be ready at all times:

1.   Daily dress your best – in your spiritual armor, prepared for battle.

2.   Practice accepting His love. He cares more than your closest friend. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…” This looks different for each of us. Find the best place for you to be still and know that He is God – day after day. Practice soaking up His love, accepting that you’re so beautiful in His eyes.

3.   Practice finishing the sentence. State issue + truth (what Jesus did/will do). We Take thoughts captive and align ourselves with Truth. Practice speaking truth in easier times, so that the habit continues IN the storm. Bonus: I have a friend who calls and finishes her sentence = POWERFUL encouragement to my soul!!!

4.  Diligently study to learn more about Gods love for you, His character, what He says regarding you-in-Christ. **If you’re not at a point in life where you can study hard-core, just do what you can. Focus on one verse if you have to, committing it to memory. Relationship first! Grace always!

5.   List verses to cling to. Pair up with the most common struggles you face. Store where you can easily find it (inside Bible) & cling to truth when trouble comes.

6.   Be alert, praying always, be ready, be prepared, watch and pray, etc.

7.   Don’t go alone. Find a spiritual partner, someone who’ll walk with you, pray with you, love you through thick & thin!

8.   Remember the point. We’re nothing apart from Jesus, can do nothing apart from Him. He is our everything (John 15)

“Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints …” – Ephesians 6:14-19, NASB [bolded: my emphasis. We can only stand at a warrior’s post when we’re dressed in our uniforms.]

Abba, thank you for working in our lives, for teaching us how to abide. Give us courage to trust you always. In Jesus' name...

Hope

Hope. On the mountaintop, she is amazingly easy to gaze upon. She is much more elusive in the valley, where I find myself questioning whether she ever existed. I suppose I can lay aside my shame to admit that I’m travelling that valley. The details about my circumstances don’t matter. While I don’t know what this whole string of struggles is about, I do know trust is a large factor.

Intellectually, I know that God is good. Abba is righteous. He is powerful. He is the one who creates the sunrise. Job 38:12, NASB He has every right to do what He wants with my life, because I’ve been bought with a great price. Yet, nothing in my life is excluded from His assurance that “God causes all things to work together for good” (from the Greek word meaning useful, beneficial)... for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. I know this applies to me, that He’s saved me & called me according to His purpose. I do love Abba, and I do want to live as He calls me to.  Romans 8:27-30, NASB

So, back and forth I battle. How discouraging! For He has saved me; I owe Him everything, yet my stubborn flesh wrestles my own precious Abba who gave His own Son for me! Yet hope is found in this: His Spirit prays for me in my weakness, and Abba knows what is best.

So, may He do in my life as He wants. For He alone knows what tools best mold me into the image of Jesus. He is greater and I must become less. His wisdom is beyond comprehension. I am nothing apart from Jesus, and can do nothing apart from Him.

So, even if the struggle never is resolved, I must continue to learn what it means to

•          Abide in Jesus
•          Carry my cross, denying myself, following Jesus
•          Trust that Abba knows best, cares the most, and is continually working toward the end goal of bringing me into the full image of my Savior, Christ Jesus.

Abba, thank you for saving me, for your endless kind benefits, for assurances that you are at work in my life. I really don’t like that I still wrestle with you. I want to persevere (like the great cloud of witnesses who also struggled), even though I feel weary and scared, of what you might be preparing me for. In the end, I know that I must look forward, to Jesus alone. All the answers are in Him. May you have your way in me, as I learn what it means to be made in the image of Christ Jesus. In His name…