Low Energy. Pain. Mistakes. Living without Regret.

Low energy. Pain. They torment me. There. I said it. I didn't intend to ever share this about myself. It's quite uncomfortable to share, but when God tells you to do something... Well, you just better. Am I right? I manage to push through most days, concealing as much as I can. I felt convicted today to put it out there. For whatever that is worth.  

On this particular day, I didn't have the energy to accomplish much, so I chose to crochet the edging on a blanket I've been experimenting with. (Don't go getting all comparison on me whether you DIY-all-day-long or not-at-all. Just please don't.)

Joyful When I Feel Lost?

There’s no warm up in Psalm 33. It’s a full-blown “Hallelujah! Let’s get up and praise God!” kind of song.

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the LORD…

“What about when life feels so hard? What if I don't want to? Why should I?”

 

Those days to go back to the foundational training, the questions we've all had to answer in our faith journey. Is God who He says He is? Will He do what He said He'd do? Is His Word true?

 

For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

Let’s switch gears a bit… Imagine for a moment that you are a pilot. Trained by the best, and given all the resources you need to fly successfully. Each time you fly, you have choices. Do what you’ve been trained to do... or wing it. Pardon the pun. Be sure to use that instrument panel; flying by sight alone, especially in bad weather, can get you killed.

Do you see the parallel to life?

We can choose to "fly blind" by emotion or use the instruments God provides for proper perspective. He is the Master Trainer. He made the rules of the universe and knows how to help us navigate life.

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
And by the breath of His mouth all their host.
He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap...

For He spoke, and it was done;
He commanded, and it stood fast.

 

Believing these verses are true, what can we do when we feel lost in a cloudy mess?

1. Breathe. Take a breath. Breathing helps us separate THIS moment from the moment we just left. It gives us a bit of oxygen to think better. Breathing is good.

2. Trust. Get your bearings and trust those instruments. Remember what God’s taught you and choose to trust Him.

The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His heart from generation to generation.

...the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,

the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 

3. Remember grace is on-going.

From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—

he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

 

…I am confident of this very thing,

that He who began a good work in you

will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:6, NASB

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 

Somehow, in all of life's messes, Abba God meets us - FAITHFULLY. We might not FEEL peace or joy today. We don't know when we'll come through the clouds to a blue sky. Yet we have TRUTH printed on pages that we can pick up. We are held in the hands of a mighty God who is much, much bigger and stronger than any storm we face.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

That is why we can, and will...

Sing joyfully to the LORD...
it is fitting for [us] to praise him.
Praise the LORD…

For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

 

Abba God, You are beautiful. The way You work is beautiful. I'm so glad You know what I face and how to get me through today. Remind me when I look at the sky, that You are the One who made all I see... and when I look down, that You direct my paths. Give me the courage to praise You even in the storms. Have your way in me, Abba God. I know I can trust You. Help me live like it.Sustain those who are weary. Bind us the wounds of those who love You. In Jesus' name.

- Scripture portions from Psalm 33

Mary knew (2)

Up until Gabriel’s visit, Mary probably didn’t have to make many, if any, choices on her own. Now she had a big choice to make. Welcome to the big leagues.

 

Ever feel like your life has been turned upside down by a big decision? Play it safe, or say “Yes” to an Almighty God and jump into the wild unknown, hoping somehow He will provide the path and resources to get through? 

 

Mary knew she had a choice.

 

She chose to put her faith in the living God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Calling herself a bondslave wasn’t an accident. It meant that she was choosing to remain in service to her master instead of choosing her freedom. She was saying, “I am yours forever, Lord, do as you see fit.”

 

Major faith junctions help define who we will become and impact others. Only Abba knows whose life is changed by my choices - and yours. May He help us chose to always say "YES" to Him.

 

Abba God, thank You for Mary’s example. She chose to trust You. Help me to trust You today – not worrying about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of its own. Have your way in me, Abba. In Jesus’ name… 

This week's reflections are based on Luke 1:26-38, NASB (click here to read online).

 

It is done, though not through my efforts.

Exertion. Labor. Toil. Great effort. The cunning and deceptive Perfection Beast ravaged my soul, threatening to destroy Hope. Dropping to my knees, I cried out to the only One who could save me. I found myself shaking internally with fear. Was the day lost? Suddenly, a blinding light appeared. I opened my eyes to see Despair gone; Hope standing strong. With one spoken Word, my Prince and Savior had sent the beast screaming into the darkness from which he came. HALLELUJAH!!!

These are my mornings. These are my days. Lies torment me, but Truth prevails! From death and sin, Emmanuel saved me once and for all. From lies, trials and tribulations, Jehovah saves me daily. Emotions don’t always cooperate; some days the wait is harder. Maybe my heart’s just stubborn in believing? I don’t know, but I know the One who does know. He is enough.

How precious to know The Lord has said “it is finished”! Today is NOT about what I need to do, or what I am able to accomplish. My work is to abide in Christ Jesus, to rest from my works and trust in His ability to finish the work He’s begun. So, I abide, He produces the fruit. I’m weak, but He is strong. He gives me the strength and ability to do what He planned for me to do. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." - John 14:1

Abba God, thank You for coming to my aid daily. You are my rock and fortress. You saved me, You love me daily, You watch over me, You made me right and clean in your sight. When I revert to frantically scurrying around in circles, looking for ways to run in circles faster, convict me to “finish the sentence” with truth - following up lies with truth. Your Word is the sword of the Spirit, able to penetrate between bone and marrow. Thank You for promising to finish the work You started! Thank You for making it very clear that my job is abiding in Christ Jesus, trusting that HE WILL do the work in me. In Jesus' name... 

Two Roads: Curse or Blessing

This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8

Beloved sister, do you see? Every one of us has the choice between two paths. The destinations are vastly different and the choice is yours and mine. 

I can’t speak for you, but I sure do want that luscious jewelry-fruit, along with the opportunity to dangle my leg-roots into the babbling brook while my ever-green hand-leaves praise my Father in heaven! 

However, I know that confidence in Him and freedom from worry is not cheap or easy. I must place all my trust and all that I care about in His really big, strong, capable hands. It’s going to take time and practice, but I’ve got a great Teacher!

Abba God, thank You for your promises and generous grace toward us. We don’t deserve to be your children, and we are grateful! Give us hearts which are steadfast to trust in YOU alone, choosing to believe You are faithful and able to provide nourishment and strength for each situation. Give us courage to stand firm in faith no matter what. We give You all the honor, glory, and praise - only You are worthy! In Jesus’ name… 

I have a truth button, and I’m activating it!

Remember the Staples^R “That was easy” button? I decided to tweak their idea. Yup. I’m making a Truth Button for myself. When the lies fly, I can push my handy Truth Button and say “Aha! [insert a truth from God’s Word here]!”

Hopefully I won't too quickly assume a swordsman pose, thereby scaring anyone in proximity (WalMart, here I come. Ha!). Maybe tomorrow those big ol' lies will whimper, “Oh no! She has a truth button and she’s not afraid to use it!” Or not.  Hey. It’s worth a try, isn’t it? 

I have a truth button, and I’m activating it!

Ok, so it may sound a bit silly, but who cares? Tangible tools can be very helpful.

So, what Truth Button statement can I make today each time I start to feel overwhelmed, fearful, or fried?

Aha! The truth of the matter is...

~ God’s for me, not against me! No weapon formed against me will prosper because He is my Defender!

~ Abba God created me; I'm His workmanship! He'll provide what I need to do what needs to be done.

~ I can choose, as Jairus did, to "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36) I'm not controlled by these emotions or circumstances! What small step of faith can I take right now to show trust that God's Holy Spirit is here with me now? 

Abba God, thank You so much for giving me truth to anchor to, for making me complete in Christ Jesus, and for molding me into the piece of work You intended to make me into.  It's so reassuring to know that You gave me truth to read and cling to, that truth matters, and that truth is powerful. Help me continue to get stronger as I learn to use my “Truth Button.”  In Jesus' name... 

Deliberate Choices... Deliberate Ruts (part 2)

Whatever choices we make today will affect our tomorrow. I once read about a road sign in Alaska that read something like this:

Choose your ruts carefully. You'll be in them the next 150 miles.

Maybe you've heard this one:

Sow an act, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a character
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

Whatever our struggles, we can choose *just for this moment* to lean on Abba God's grace and strength. We don't have to have "it all together" or know what the ten steps ahead look like. In this moment, we can choose which rut to be in for the next minute, and as we repeat the act of trusting Him and Truth, we develop habits which help us stay in the right ruts.

Abba God, your grace is sufficient, your shoulders broad enough to handle my cares, and your strength is readily available to me when I ask. Give me courage and tenacity to choose You and truth, instead of defaulting to a rut which leads nowhere good. Show me the right ruts to walk in, so I can know You more deeply. In Jesus' name... 

Deliberate Choices... Deliberate Ruts...

I wish I could say that I wake up each morning, brimming over with affection for my Prince Jesus, and anticipation for what glimpses of Abba I might catch during the day. I don't. 

Daily I talk myself through a barrage of logic, based on Scripture, so that I am able to make the deliberate choice to die to the old fleshly girl who wants it her way, right away. I must choose - repeatedly throughout many days - to lay down old hurts which still haunt my mind and pierce my soul. I must choose to rip off those worries and concerns which crept back into my heart and mind when I wasn't looking. 

Two truths are in my arsenal to fight the Daily Battle of Choice to seek God (when I'd rather stay  in bed all day - or worse - treat others as badly as I feel inside). 

1. God did so much for me - none of which I deserve. 

I'm so embarrassed to say (I guess because of that "I have it all together" poker face we think we all have to carry.) that I often have to logically walk through Scriptures to convince myself of this truth. It's not a quick process and it is painful to lay aside the lies and doubts. Some days I'm not so successful, but after 20+ years of fighting this battle, the Stubborn Doubt Mode days are starting to lose out to the Truth Really is Reality days. 

2. Abba God has so much more to show me, which I cannot comprehend. 

I have to convince myself to leave the Valley of No Hope and step into the Realm of What I Cannot Yet See (aka I'm Going Home & It's Not HERE!). God didn't ONLY raise me from death into life so that I could live in a boring "heaven" - whatever your view is of heaven, it's not good enough. =). God's ways and thoughts are vastly beyond what we can imagine and His ability beyond what we can hope for. Therefore, I cannot help but think that we just don't grasp how amazing our heaven-citizenship is/will be. 

6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:6-7

He's raised me up so that He can show what??? Incomparable. Riches of His grace.

Just when will He be showing us? In the coming ages. 

Most of us find it refreshing when someone holds open the door for us when our arms are overloaded. Yet, how much greater are God's acts of kindness to us! He will continue to show His grace to us for all of eternity. He deeply desires me (even when I wake up not really feeling "in love" with Him). He wants me. He wants to love on me for... ever and ever after. 

He's an active God. He actively creates, and recreates. He brings grace and beauty to ashes. He gives life to bones. He saves from death. He went through great lengths to seek ME - AND YOU - out in the crowd. (Squeal with delight, girl. He loves and chose YOU!!!) He spent much patience and blood to draw me tenderly toward Him. His eyes are continually loving toward me. His mighty arm is ready to catch me, to support me, and to uphold me at all times. (He's so big and strong that He doesn't need to use two. ha!)

Abba God, Thank You so much for loving me in spite of the ugliness that daily rears its beastly head inside of me. Thank You for giving me choices, even I choose poorly. I can't imagine life without your words which speak truth into my innermost being. Give me courage to fight each morning against discouragement and doubt. Give me the determination to persevere so that I can stand firm even when I feel weak. I do believe, help me in my unbelief. May YOU be glorified in my weakness and be seen by others in my life. In Jesus' name.