Just some guy.

Remember Barak? The one in the Bible, whom Deborah told to fight Sisera?
Just some guy. With doubts and fears.

A few decades later, God calls Gideon.
Just some guy. With doubts and fears.

God works in and through the lives of common, broken "just a guy" (and "just a gal").
I don't know about you, but I needed that reminder! 

Father God, thank You for giving us the training and tools to do the work You call us to do! I am "just a guy/gal" and I am so thankful that You are with me in my daily training, as well as the big battles. Increase my faith in You, in Jesus. Greater is He who is in me, than he that is in the world. You are at work in us and You are reconciling others to Jesus through us. Love and speak through us, Father. Show me what You want me to do today. In Jesus' name.

Barak's story can be read in Judges 4-5.  

It's not about what I need to do!

Today, I can rejoice because of what He’s done and will do. Focusing on myself is a dead end. It’s not about what I need to do. No, it’s all about what HE has already done, is doing, and will do.  

All that I struggle with is NOTHING in light of HIM and what HE has done. His grace – what I don’t deserve – is so rich that it makes King Solomon’s treasures look poor. His mercy – not giving me what I do deserve – is mightier than a tsunami. His love is deep. His provision is overflowing. His promises are true. His wise and holy Spirit advises me. His own Son saved me from slavery and death.

Abba made me the object of Jesus' affection. I am Jesus’ Beloved, and He is mine. He tenderly showers me with His affections, patiently teaching me perfect love. His pure intentions are assurances that cannot be revoked or altered. 

As in all relationships, I still have the choice to draw closer or pull away. Daily I must practice trust. You may timidly wonder, "Can I really trust Him?" Oh, sweet sister, it is alright to ask! Abiding isn't running away from fear. Those who abide ask that question daily, and follow up with their answer. "Yes, He is faithful and true. He is trustworthy. He can and will transform me into Christ's image. I will obey Him, trusting that He will finish what He's begun in me."

He knows I am weak. He gives me strength to do what He calls me to do. He enables me to obey, teaching me to:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7, NASB

Abba God, to You belong all blessing, honor, glory, and power forever. There’s nothing I can do to make You love me more. Oh, how I want to please You! It seems all You are asking me to do is trust You. I can only obey when I trust You. Open my eyes to see the treasure trove of your perfect love (You’ve saved me, You love me daily, You watch over me, You’ve made me right & clean in your sight, etc). Teach me to open that treasure chest daily and bask in your love. Thank You for saving me through Christ Jesus and for promising to finish the work You started! Give me courage to trust You when I’m tempted to fear or hold to old lies. I do believe. Help me in my unbelief! All my answers that I seek are in Christ Jesus; He is truth, light, and life. Through Him all things exist, which were brought into being. Praise and honor to You, Abba God, for You are so incredibly worthy. I love You. In Jesus’ name… 

It is done, though not through my efforts.

Exertion. Labor. Toil. Great effort. The cunning and deceptive Perfection Beast ravaged my soul, threatening to destroy Hope. Dropping to my knees, I cried out to the only One who could save me. I found myself shaking internally with fear. Was the day lost? Suddenly, a blinding light appeared. I opened my eyes to see Despair gone; Hope standing strong. With one spoken Word, my Prince and Savior had sent the beast screaming into the darkness from which he came. HALLELUJAH!!!

These are my mornings. These are my days. Lies torment me, but Truth prevails! From death and sin, Emmanuel saved me once and for all. From lies, trials and tribulations, Jehovah saves me daily. Emotions don’t always cooperate; some days the wait is harder. Maybe my heart’s just stubborn in believing? I don’t know, but I know the One who does know. He is enough.

How precious to know The Lord has said “it is finished”! Today is NOT about what I need to do, or what I am able to accomplish. My work is to abide in Christ Jesus, to rest from my works and trust in His ability to finish the work He’s begun. So, I abide, He produces the fruit. I’m weak, but He is strong. He gives me the strength and ability to do what He planned for me to do. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." - John 14:1

Abba God, thank You for coming to my aid daily. You are my rock and fortress. You saved me, You love me daily, You watch over me, You made me right and clean in your sight. When I revert to frantically scurrying around in circles, looking for ways to run in circles faster, convict me to “finish the sentence” with truth - following up lies with truth. Your Word is the sword of the Spirit, able to penetrate between bone and marrow. Thank You for promising to finish the work You started! Thank You for making it very clear that my job is abiding in Christ Jesus, trusting that HE WILL do the work in me. In Jesus' name... 

Sigh...

I hunch forward in desperation when I think of my lack, but then I remember that Jesus is my adequacy. 

I tire of the fight, but I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

I fear that hope might disappoint, but I remember Jesus' powerful act on the cross which showed his resolve to trust God with everything. 

I struggle to lay down fears and worries, as if I can control anything by them, but I remember God's commands. Do not fear... Do not worry... 

All day long, I have these logical talks with myself... then a mountain of frustration grows as I realize I don't know where I am, what I'm doing, or why I'm here. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning - or do I? 

Abba God, my head agrees with You, but my heart is so filled with turmoil. I want to believe You, to fully trust You, and to be content with You. Oh, Lord, increase my faith and cause me to love you above all else! I want so much for You to be my everything. Cause me to stand firm in You alone & to not “mind” the other stuff of life. I want nothing to matter besides You. In Jesus' name... 

Identifying with a murderer

Moses’ life intrigues and inspires me. I wish I could interview him.

Remember his story? Raised in Pharaoh's household, he must have acquired great academic and political savvy. Seeing the unfair plight of his people must have kept him up at night as he pondered how to fix the situation. As solutions evaded him, it must have been too much to see that Egyptian slave driver beating a helpless brother. Without forethought to the consequences, Moses acted in anger and found himself fleeing in fear. 

In the desert, Fear and Doubt must have been constant companions as he tended sheep, daily mocking his great knowledge and abilities. He had learned so much in a great ruler's house, had been given everything needed to rise to great leadership, and yet he lost everything because of his foolish actions. 

I can relate somewhat. I've royally messed up and hurt others. Trying to solve problems, I’ve stepped in where I should not have (or in the wrong timing) and caused more trouble than there was to begin with. Yes, there have been times I've been allowed to intervene, but many times when God's been clear. “Hands off, girl! Leave this one to me.” It’s extremely hard to wait for God to change a situation – or to watch injustice unfold where it’s not in your power to do something (beyond prayer, of course).

  

Yet in Moses’ story, I find hope.

God still called him. God used him anyway.

My failings, my imperfections… they are nothing compared to the power and creativity of my Abba.

Abba, thank you for choosing to include us in your story. HIS*tory is all about you, but in my daily life I fall prey to thinking everything’s about me. May my thoughts be focused on YOU – your power, glory, creativity, goodness, hope, love, grace, mercy – today. May my heart be encouraged to know that you are working in, and through, my life in spite of my past and present condition. May your will be done in my heart and mind, and your will is done in heaven. I love you so much. In Jesus’ name… 

If you have time this weekend, I encourage you to read Moses' story. We'll be identifying with him more over the next several weekdays. 

I am HIS. A long, but necessary post, even if it only benefits me.

This extra post is only for those who are

weary … or … fearful … or …

running … or …faking until they make it …

If you have “it all together,” don’t bother reading this (until you’re ready for it, cause we all come to a place of despair sooner or later).

A recent loss shook my world in ways I didn't expect. Facing different waves of emotions, I somehow closed my heart off to God. Not completely. Just in certain areas. I allowed my heart to become very guarded against God's love... Maybe I was afraid that God would ask too much of me? Maybe I felt that if I protected myself from God's love, that I wouldn't have to feel more pain? I really don't like to feel pain...  

Yet, if it weren't for the pain, I doubt I'd understand joy. I don’t understand how or why, but it seems to me that the emotions of joy and pain intertwine. When I accept pain (ugh), I face it and accept Abba’s plan for my life – even if He would choose to slay me. Not a pleasant thought.

In fact, it’s downright scary! To lay my life, my dreams, my wants, my hopes, my “rights” down – the point of NOoooo return??? Well, OF COURSE it’s easier to close my heart up and only delve into shallow waters! To only love God to the 4’ mark, instead of diving into 30’ waters. To close the door to further cross-carrying, than to open that heavy squeaky door that’s covered over with interwoven ivy-weeds of Fear and Worry who continue to shout “SHUT THE DOOR!”

I can’t do anything to bring back the one I’ve lost. I can’t change my circumstances (the ones which I know God’s put in my life for this season). But I can choose to let my heart melt or harden in the hands of the One who was, and is, and is to come.

So, tell me. Like me, have you been guarding your heart lately - from people, or more importantly, from the Lover of your soul? [Are you afraid? Good! You’re alive then. Fear reminds us that faith is required for the next step. And I, for one, think that the struggle is HARD and WORTH it. When we face the struggle and tell God we CAN’T, but we WANT to… that’s Jehovah’s business, ladies!!!]

So, my fellow Marthas, let’s remember together how to sit and listen, like Mary did. Hang up your “stuff” & your “doings” for a while. Rest in Jesus, so that your goings and doings become an outpouring of a relationship so much deeper than the one you’ve been trying to make happen.

He wants you to simply BE. 

BE yourself. Trust HIM for the rest. 

I encourage you to find a quiet time – ALONE - to listen to You're My Beloved (under 4 minutes); just focus on Abba and your relationship together. Rest in Him. Cast off those cares. Forget all your responsibilities for the moment. Hear His heart beat for you. Allow your heart to melt before the awesome - and TENDER - Father Creator, who loves you so incredibly much. 

Now, I know I'll get in trouble from at least one if I don't suggest tissues (you know who you are. Tee hee.). Some of you aren't emotional gals, and I understand that. However, may I ever so gently suggest – if you don't tear up at all while focusing on Abba's love for you – could it be that you're allowing your heart to be hard and guarded? Maybe we all would be wise to ask Him to melt those guarded lesions on our hearts before we listen, and take the time to listen again & again until we finally melt in His arms. (As with all of MY words, take or leave them... What Abba says is what really matters.)

Abba, we need you to melt our hearts. Teach us who You are & who you see when you see us. Teach us to soak in your love & to rest in your tenderness. Heal our brokenness, pour salve where we're hardened, and give us courage to look into your eyes. Give us strength to lay down ourselves and to fully abide in Christ Jesus alone - until He's our everything and nothing else matters. In Jesus' name... 

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30, The New Living Translation

What causes you to lose heart?

This might sound lame, but mornings cause me to lose heart. Mornings are my arch nemesis. When I wake up, courage hides until I spend time with my Father. (If you think I'm being melodramatic, well, you're probably right. Still. I don't like mornings. Maybe someday. )

Have you been striving?

My dear child,

Have you been striving? Struggling?

Are you losing heart? Does today seem daunting?

Are you carrying a heavy burden? 

Would you like some rest? Peace? Calm in the storm?  

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

For My yoke is easy… and My burden is light.”

With all my love,

Jesus

Do you see? Jesus is gentle. Do you see? He's humble. He does not look to crush you, sweet sister. Jesus loves you as you are. He loves you and longs to give you peace. Do you see His tender eyes longing for you to trust Him? He's holding out His hand for you.

Go ahead, let go of that load and take Jesus' hand.

Father, I have trouble remembering that I don’t have to live up to a set of rules and regulations. Thank you that Jesus’ teaching is simple: to love God and people. Help me remember the example of Mary, who spent time at Jesus' feet instead of striving to get everything just right in the kitchen. Thank you for not burdening me with heavy loads. In Jesus' name... 

Today’s verse: Matthew 11:28-30

I struggle to let go...

I really like that illusion that I have control over my circumstances.  

I want to fully trust God, because I know He knows what is best. I would love to be that gal who always takes a leap of faith, fully abandoning myself (without a fight) to the One who made me, loves me, and delights in me! 

But... (You knew that was coming, didn't you?)

There's a piece of me that screams, "You can't do that! Don't you know what that would mean? You might be giving up opportunities, limiting your options."

Yet, each time I try to keep all my options open, I miss out on God's best. Maybe it's because I'm so focused on what I might miss. Maybe. Regardless, when I obey Him and do the good works He planned for me to do, God takes care of all the details that I can't do anything about. When I'm where He wants me to be, He makes sure I take the right opportunities and protects me from the wrong opportunities.

Father, it's me again. Thank you for teaching me that you really do love me and want what's best for me. I want to do what you tell me to do. What do you want me to focus on today? Give me the strength and courage to abandon anything that's not your best! 

How about you? Do you struggle to "let go and let God?" 

Let's focus on these verses together today: 1 Peter 5:7, Ephesians 2:10.

Inadequate? Yes I am, but...

I have been thinking about blogging for 1 year & 20 days. Wondering how I know? I found my first rough draft dated October 1st, 2010. The topic? Inadequacy. I still struggle with it, and I think I'm glad I do. Being "a mess" has caused me to lean on Christ Jesus more than I might otherwise.