Sigh...

I hunch forward in desperation when I think of my lack, but then I remember that Jesus is my adequacy. 

I tire of the fight, but I remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

I fear that hope might disappoint, but I remember Jesus' powerful act on the cross which showed his resolve to trust God with everything. 

I struggle to lay down fears and worries, as if I can control anything by them, but I remember God's commands. Do not fear... Do not worry... 

All day long, I have these logical talks with myself... then a mountain of frustration grows as I realize I don't know where I am, what I'm doing, or why I'm here. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning - or do I? 

Abba God, my head agrees with You, but my heart is so filled with turmoil. I want to believe You, to fully trust You, and to be content with You. Oh, Lord, increase my faith and cause me to love you above all else! I want so much for You to be my everything. Cause me to stand firm in You alone & to not “mind” the other stuff of life. I want nothing to matter besides You. In Jesus' name...