Low Energy. Pain. Mistakes. Living without Regret.

Low energy. Pain. They torment me. There. I said it. I didn't intend to ever share this about myself. It's quite uncomfortable to share, but when God tells you to do something... Well, you just better. Am I right? I manage to push through most days, concealing as much as I can. I felt convicted today to put it out there. For whatever that is worth.  

On this particular day, I didn't have the energy to accomplish much, so I chose to crochet the edging on a blanket I've been experimenting with. (Don't go getting all comparison on me whether you DIY-all-day-long or not-at-all. Just please don't.)

As much as pain -and low energy- can  affect my plans for each day, I still have choices. I have projects that I focus on during my "no go" days and I reserve more ambitious goals for the few days I'm blessed with energy.  

I'm glad to have a blanket to show for today's lack of energy. It will remind me that I pushed through many hard hours by working on this blanket. It will keep me warm during bitter winter nights. I don't have to share it with the guys - its all mine! (Bwaha! Oh, sorry. Did that slip out?) I wasn't sure I could finish an afghan, but look! I did it!!! I really finished it y'all! 

What you probably can't see from the picture is this: This blanket has LOTS of mistakes. 

Not kidding! Each mistake presented me with a choice: keep or undo? For me to undo work I've done, it must bother me a lot. I tore out what I knew I'd regret - which was a lot. There are many mistakes I chose to keep. Some flaw's add character. Others are close enough to what I was aiming for. Every mistake that I kept in this blanket is one that I choose to live with. 

I want to live with that outlook toward my life. 

To live without regret. 

To rip out habits and sinful patterns that get between me and Jesus.

To accept who God made me to be, 

even the "flaws" that really aren't so bad after all.

While I can't remove the mistakes I've already made in life, I can trust God to:

Finish what He began in me. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6, NASBRE

Give me wisdom in trials. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it. James 1:5, NASBRE

Work together all things - the good & the bad - for my good (I am His and I love Him): And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28, NIV

Abba God, thank You for promising to finish what You began in me, to give me wisdom in trials, and to work together all things for my good. Help me to trust You with my mistakes - and with all the details that simply do not make sense! Remind me often that You are the Master Creator of my life. Help me rejoice in Your goodness and creativity as the Master Artist. Help me rejoice that You made me wonder-FULLY and detailed. My quirks don't turn You off. You've removed my sins so I can be with You forever. You love spending time with me. Thanks for drawing nearer to me each time I draw near to You. I choose to trust today that You made my life beautiful - even with all my mistakes and flaws. Give me eyes to see what You see and a heart that celebrates Your work in me. In Jesus' name...