Desert of Shame (Warrior Princess Series)

Defeat’s salty tears sting as they flow over scars from the past. Reminders of failed attempts – my lack – bring me to the Desert of Shame. I didn’t need to go “there,” but I didn’t know where else to go. I’ve failed so often! How could The King possibly want me to be His ambassador?

I find hope... in David's story (part 4)

I find hope in the Bible when I ponder and dwell on

the example of repentance David gave, that we can experience God’s mercy and grace.

The adultery and murder of Uriah, which led David to write Psalm 51, a moving song of repentance and faith in God’s mercies.

Abba’s mercy and grace are readily available when I turn to Him. I cannot face Him and face sin. They’re polar opposites. Turning away from sin is turning to God.

David didn’t hide his struggles. He acknowledged them, and brought them back into perspective according to the truth He knew about God. This is not easy, but we must continue to learn how to fight in this way. We’re to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Rom. 12) and take every thought captive according to Christ (2 Cor. 10:3-5).

There’s no condemnation in Christ Jesus – no shame. Oh, how quickly I forget! We don’t have to walk around with our heads down when we think we’ve failed. No! We walk in humility (for we once were lost) and in peace and joy (we are found & free!).

Abba God, when I remember what you did through David’s life, I’m so encouraged. I am comforted to know that You finish what You start, You keep your promises, You are close to the broken and humble. Nothing good’s in me, apart from You. Help me remember this today – and always. In Jesus’ name…  

Ashamed

Ever feel ashamed? About something you did or didn’t do? Maybe you were wronged. It doesn't much matter whether it was in public or private: both feel horrible and can cause pain for decades. Reminders linger. Maybe it's limited your relationships, where you worship or even travel.

I don't know about you, but I’m tired of feeling ashamed.

Abba God, in His grace, has used the last decade to open my eyes to the causes of shame and the impact:

• it's too heavy to carry and creates stress in all facets of life. NOTHING like Jesus’ offer in Matt 11:28-30 (sin, trying to "do it" on my own),
• the value I’ve placed on what man thinks (sin),
• too much focus & frustration on forcing my “future” to happen, (sin. I wasn't abiding & trusting Abba.)
• perpetual, embarrassing "failure" in others' eyes; my life didn't fit others' cookie cutter molds. (sin. Wasn't focusing on pleasing Abba.)

Praise be to Abba God, for revealing truth! Even though I've been burdened, He offers me freedom and it's mine to receive.

Yes, as my closest friends have said (I'm sorry it too so long to grasp this...): 

I've cared for far too long and far too much about what others' think, when it comes to the matters of God. Yes, we mustn't be a stumbling block, but we must realize that our lives are going to look different from others' and that is OK!

This “stuff” has reigned way too long in my life. It’s gotta go! It's a new day. I'm a new creation in Christ Jesus. It's time to move forward in truth. Even if I only pray the rest of my life and am used to do nothing apart from pray, that's God's business. I'm not on this earth to force things to happen, to become like anyone else, etc. I'm here to abide in Jesus and to please Abba, learning to listening to the whispers of His Spirit. Where He goes, I'll learn to go. When He tells me to stay, I will learn to stay. It won't be easy, but knowing Jesus is worth the price. 

Abba, Thank You for doing a work in my life through Jesus and your Spirit. Thank you for revealing truth to your little children. How humbling to know that You love me and give me what You don’t allow mighty rulers to have. Continue to train me up in truth, to continually convict me to lay aside earthly things and thoughts. Discipleship is costly, but oh! The treasure You have in store for those who seek after You. Nothing’s worth what You’re worth. May my eyes be locked on You and all that’s good, noble, beautiful, and true. In Jesus’ name…