Ashamed

Ever feel ashamed? About something you did or didn’t do? Maybe you were wronged. It doesn't much matter whether it was in public or private: both feel horrible and can cause pain for decades. Reminders linger. Maybe it's limited your relationships, where you worship or even travel.

I don't know about you, but I’m tired of feeling ashamed.

Abba God, in His grace, has used the last decade to open my eyes to the causes of shame and the impact:

• it's too heavy to carry and creates stress in all facets of life. NOTHING like Jesus’ offer in Matt 11:28-30 (sin, trying to "do it" on my own),
• the value I’ve placed on what man thinks (sin),
• too much focus & frustration on forcing my “future” to happen, (sin. I wasn't abiding & trusting Abba.)
• perpetual, embarrassing "failure" in others' eyes; my life didn't fit others' cookie cutter molds. (sin. Wasn't focusing on pleasing Abba.)

Praise be to Abba God, for revealing truth! Even though I've been burdened, He offers me freedom and it's mine to receive.

Yes, as my closest friends have said (I'm sorry it too so long to grasp this...): 

I've cared for far too long and far too much about what others' think, when it comes to the matters of God. Yes, we mustn't be a stumbling block, but we must realize that our lives are going to look different from others' and that is OK!

This “stuff” has reigned way too long in my life. It’s gotta go! It's a new day. I'm a new creation in Christ Jesus. It's time to move forward in truth. Even if I only pray the rest of my life and am used to do nothing apart from pray, that's God's business. I'm not on this earth to force things to happen, to become like anyone else, etc. I'm here to abide in Jesus and to please Abba, learning to listening to the whispers of His Spirit. Where He goes, I'll learn to go. When He tells me to stay, I will learn to stay. It won't be easy, but knowing Jesus is worth the price. 

Abba, Thank You for doing a work in my life through Jesus and your Spirit. Thank you for revealing truth to your little children. How humbling to know that You love me and give me what You don’t allow mighty rulers to have. Continue to train me up in truth, to continually convict me to lay aside earthly things and thoughts. Discipleship is costly, but oh! The treasure You have in store for those who seek after You. Nothing’s worth what You’re worth. May my eyes be locked on You and all that’s good, noble, beautiful, and true. In Jesus’ name…