Sorrowful Repentance is Good (Warrior Princess Series)

Greetings, dear friends. I trust my last letter was delivered to you. Many battles and narrow paths kept me from writing earlier. I have only a few moments to write now, but do not want to tarry any longer, lest you fear something troubling has happened to me. 
 

I committed to share some lessons Abba our King has revealed, which are not new to many I’m sure, but were made more sure in my heart and mind when The King sent Word to me. I remember an awful shame, fear, and sadness coming over me in the Desert of Shame. I believe I mentioned this briefly in my first letter, but I did not elaborate as the letter was long enough and I needed to be on my way.

I find hope... in David's story (part 2)

I find hope in the Bible when I ponder and dwell on

the brutally transparent struggles David faced and described in the Psalms.

Here are 2 keys shared in David's psalms, received through his trials and troubles.

Humility: Nothing good was in David, apart from God. (Ps 16:2) Same is true of me.

Brokenness: David wrote a lot about his brokenness. He was misunderstood, betrayed, and endured much unfairness. Those trials taught him that God’s close to the broken. (Ps 34:18)

Now, I don’t often think of trials as gifts. However, God offers us these same 2 keys to His heart through each struggle we face. Hmmm... that's something to consider. 

Abba God, I’m not so thankful for the struggles, but I’m grateful for the gifts which lead me closer to You. Thank You for loving me enough to lead me through the struggles and bring good out of each one. Thank You for helping me endure. You’re so good to me. In Jesus’ name… 

You think I'm a lot like Jacob? Really???

While it's no secret that I am stubborn, it's just a little disconcerting that God Himself has been pointing out just how stubborn I am. Like Jacob? REALLY? The only consolation I have in the matter is that He hasn't pointed out other traits which Jacob's known for. He doesn't exactly have the best of reputations.

So, Jacob wrestling with the angel. Yep. That's me. I wrestle round and round with God, and refuse to let go until He blesses me - or at least until all I know is Christ Jesus. I want to know joy and peace. I want to believe all the truths that God's told us about. Yet, my flesh - the old me - holds on like hot tar.  

Being stubborn can create strong hindrance, and yet it can also become a huge blessing.  

I don't recall Jacob ever boasting that he wrestled an angel, or saw the face of God. Yet that wrestling match changed Jacob. His name was changed, his walk was changed, and his behavior changed. I think he learned humility that night, also gaining full confidence that the God of his father and grandfather truly was with him, in spite of his sins and flaws. I think Jacob learned to have more faith in God than fear of man. 

So, while I'm not ecstatic for being compared with Jacob, I'm thankful for these reminders:

• God loved Jacob (He is known as being the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob).
• God chose Jacob even though he was conniving, manipulative, and shrewd.
• God met Jacob alone, at the right moment, to teach him what he needed to know at that time.
• God molded (or chiseled) a very stubborn man into the man he needed to be... (more on that in the next post).
• God's will do what He sets out to do. He keeps His promises.

Abba God, You are wise and know every little detail about me. You know me better than I know myself. Thank You for blessing me continually, because of Christ's sacrifice. Thank You for reveling truth and planting it in the depths of my soul. I want to know YOU, to see YOUR face, to know YOU more. And I don't intend to stop wrestling until my flesh is nothing to me, until I boast in Christ Jesus only. In His name... 

Esteemed by A Holy, Mighty God

“Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool...

Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?” declares the Lord.
"This is the one I esteem;
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word."
Isaiah 66:1-2, NIV

Father, how amazing that You'd esteem someone you've made! Cause my heart to be humble before You, not choosing to follow my selfish desires! Cause me to be contrite before You, yielding to Your ways! Burn Your Word into my heart & renew my mind according to Your Word. Teach me Your ways. Incline my ear to Your teachings and cause me to be steadfast in Your way. You are the God who encourages and who is faithful and true. Nothing in You is false. You are amazing, Abba! May my heart praise You all day long, and my mind be focused on You through whatever the day brings. In Jesus' name... 

My attitude stinks most mornings.

I fight hard to find truth and goodness to dwell on (Phil 4:13). Rejoicing (Phil 4:4)? Let's not even go there! This morning, the Sinful Attitude Mommy Monster (SAMM) was at it again! Raging, threatening to swallow my family and me whole! I needed help! (surely I'm not entirely alone in my crazy drama). What's a woman to do?