I've really messed up. I chose Easy, instead of Right. God still wants me. At this very moment.
When I don't care about potential consequences of my actions. He desires me. At that very moment.
In my filth, He is with me, longing for me to look into His peaceful eyes. When I crossly turn away because He doesn't "fix me" or my circumstances, He doesn't force me to look and seek truth. Perfect gentleman. Patiently waiting. For me. Who else waits for me like He does?
He's secured our relationship with His Spirit and through Christ Jesus. It's done. I'm His and He is mine. Why do I withhold myself from the only One who cares for me fully, infinitely more than any human can love another?
At this moment, what will I choose? Will I turn toward my Lover or turn away? Will I hold onto my struggles instead of running into His strong embrace, trusting His real and constant provision for me?
Whatever my choice, He chooses love - always. He waits for me. That is grace beyond my comprehension.
Abba God, thank You for being who You are - Love. Open my eyes to see how much You love me. Give me courage to look through the glass that separates me from You - the glass of circumstances, struggles, emotions - instead of only looking at the dusty, bug-covered glass itself. Teach me what I'm to focus on and give me courage to let go of the rest. In Jesus' name...
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