I wonder what a canning jar feels like when it's in the pressure cooker?

I suppose it's pretty much how I feel when circumstances cause the air pressure in my sphere to push down on my fragile frame. My legs feel like they'll crumble, my lungs won't accept the oxygen I once took for granted, and the head feels like it will explode! On the brink of bursting - like a jar might if the temperature of the food in it were vastly different than the boiling water outside.  

What frustrates me most in these trials is that my response isn't exactly lining up to God's very Word, which says I'm to do something different than buckle under pressure. Hebrews 12 calls his discipline an encouragement, and proof that He accepts us. Elsewhere He teaches me to: 

strengthen weak knees, be strong, be courageous... 

do not despair, do not give up, do not fear

"And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, 

"My child, don't make light of the LORD's discipline, 

and don't give up when he corrects you. 

For the LORD disciplines those he loves, 

and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."" - Hebrews 12:5-6, New Living Translation

This I find hard to do. Resilience, endurance, and persistence aren't exactly my strengths. Abba knows that, and He continues to show up daily as my personal trainer in righteousness. The training routine I'd prefer: Abba reaches down to feed me His manna when I awake, which suddenly strengthens me so I may bound throughout the day with a Mary Poppins smile and song. Naturally I'd be able to produce a solution for every problem that comes my way.... 

Oh, but I remember.... 

pruning takes time, 

intimacy takes time,

maturity takes time. 

What Abba wants most for me is to be holy, so I can reap the benefits of knowing Him more fully - leading to more joy, greater peace, and so much more. 

So, today I will once again choose to REST against His bosom, wrapped in His strong arms. After some time there in close companionship with Him, I'll go about my responsibilities, resuming the struggle to fully trust that He will provide exactly what I need WHEN I need it. It won't be easy, but it's worth it. The alternative is to lie down in the valley of despair and go no further. That doesn't sound good to me. 

Abba, I'm so glad you accept me. You know I don't like the pain and suffering, but you also know that it's necessary. I do believe, help me in my unbelief! Ultimately I want to be in alignment with you. I want to be filled with your Spirit so that the outside stress doesn't affect my countenance - or affection -  for you. Lead me in your everlasting way and give me courage to accept the trials as a show of your love and affection for me. In Jesus' name..